Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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