Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
