There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
