just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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