you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
