so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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