Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
