Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize