Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
