just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
