i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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