Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
