I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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