i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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