So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
