I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
