During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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