Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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