Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
