He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
