Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
