The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
