We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
