i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
