D3 body, D1 cock
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
