If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
