There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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