I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
