Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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