Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
