You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
