dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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