so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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