Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
