I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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