i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
