Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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