felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Randomize
