I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
