when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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