Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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