I met the friendliest cop last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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