I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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