eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
