you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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