Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We had to coat check the pizza.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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