Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
