Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
