I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
