If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
