i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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