I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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