All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize