I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
