you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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