the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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