yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
