he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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