do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize