I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
