Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
